Posted by: Dr Churchill | June 17, 2013

From Ireland with love — This G8 is all about titts weed and the missing G-spot

TiTTs = TRADE, TAX, and TRANSPARENCY, are all the pear shaped titillating issues, this G8 attempts to grapple with.

Maybe grope would be a better word since the chances of serious grappling are minimal for the next couple of days. This being a stuffy crowd and all…

Or shall I say stiff crowd? Nevermind the attempts at levity, these are all cats of the same stripes and there is no humour here. It’s just so somber and sad, that we all miss old frisky DSK of the IMF’s glory hole days.

Still one must cope with what one has got. Given the circumstances we could be doing loads more than we are doing, yet it seems the G8 is hampered by a gigantic lack of Vision. So keep groping in the dark, or just cop a feel and move on, since there is no real Vision at this Summit, nor is there any divine reciprocity on the issues of common interest. Only the new Pope is missing because he could be the only one to enthuse this crowd to do the right things. Yet this being heavily Protestant country one must protest the lack of Direction, lack of Clarity, and ultimately lack of Vision. To compensate for this “barren shop windows” G8 policy agenda – we have decoration: Decorative issues, namely engagement with titties: The top 3Ts to be exact: Trade liberalization, tax reform, and transparency in development issues, that are expected to dominate the agenda at the 2013 G8 summit.

This G8 agenda for 2013 is not only lacking anything resembling VISION< it is also very ambiguous, spacious, and unambitious. Still, it is a humongous undertaking logistically yet without a clear driving purpose. Add to it that the emperor is naked and there you have the proper analogy. Some previous summits have focused on big themes, like eradicating poverty or resolving the financial crisis, or Debt Relief for the Third World and Africa, and this resonated with the people bringing out the music and arts crowd and not just the hard core Politicos and Protesters. PeePs in short. When the G8 was in London, it used to be the zenith of hipster culture – with healthy food choices, music, flamboyance and release, organic drugs and friendliness. This G8 is all about potato dumplings, World domination, chippies, the Walmart economy, and the structural Banker’s capitalism. Compared to the visionary G8s of yore, this G8 by comparison is a wet squib. Without vision, it just feels small… almost worthless. The boxtys though are nice…

This June’s gathering in Enniskillen town in the small County of Fermanagh in British Northern Ireland is meant to emulate the original G8 summit in Rambouillet, back in 1975 without the fancy french food. In principle, here is where leaders could candidly discuss the economic problems of the day and forge special relationships outside the spotlight. Yet this year, despite the intimate atmosphere – UK’s prime minister David Cameron faces formidable obstacles in building consensus amongst fellow heads of state even in these seemingly simple issues. No Ambition here. No Vision either. Certainly NO HOPE for anything of value.

“Bollocks only – Who could ask for anything more” is the unofficial song of the day here… sung around all the campfires of young activists and people truly concerned with the State of this World.

For the leaders’ hospitality, we have “The Big Elephant Inn” since this is the big issue in the room, that nobody is going to talk about. The proxy war in Syria. It is not in the official agenda and thus immediately, you can see the shortcomings of this meeting. The ongoing civil war in Syria is a Non Issue in this G8, the Human Rights and Poverty issue is also absent, and even the Transatlantic Customs Union cum Trade Deal, is faltering. Consequently, the internal logic of capitalism results in structural violence that includes forms of genocide for small Peoples around the globe. Then we get together, offer a review, a committee, an inquiry and an eventual Mea Culpa for not acting, or for not moving forward to solve the problem sooner and stop the bloodshed. This is what gutless leadership is all about. Talk about Africa: If Clinton had intervened forcefully and decisively in Rwanda, he could have prevented the ethnic cleansing fully. Lots of precious lives could have been saved and the bloodshed that still continues today because it spilled over into neighbouring Uganda, Congo and even further away into other nations like the South Sudan – could have been prevented. But old Billie C. was otherwise engaged up the skirts of Monica Lewinski – busily educating the White House interns to the intimate arts of wet & moist cigar smoking…

Now we miss the boat in Syria. The G8 is the story of missed opportunities to do the right thing. This is one more of the same. Now you get the idea and the reason for the pear shaped titties of the title and the inability of this bunch of leaders to find the G-spot, among other concerns.

The UK’s lack of Vision this year is thinly concealed by the Trade and Finance Agenda which makes this the Transparency Summit. So transparent indeed that it offers nary a fig leaf, to cover the nakedness of the assembled leaders. They surely need umbrellas to cover up from the public outrage over corporate tax evasion globally, and their complicit agreement to allow this to stand as is. Even in these times of economic crisis and chronic unemployment and in the face of the Public’s aversion to Companies being and doing evil – either by polluting and diminishing our resource constrained world, or by not paying their fair share. Contempt and red hot anger, is building amongst the world’s communities. Little is seen from policy proposals to stem these evil practices. Anger and Distrust and eventual Defenestration, will occur are the Public’s call for ACTION is gaining momentum. Now, that the prospects for global reform of tax compliance and corporate-ownership transparency are stronger than ever – David Cameron hastens a British-American Tax and Trade Agenda, where not a mention is made of the serious malady needed to be addressed. Instead the British prime minister makes the case for making the EU-US free trade agreement the centerpiece of a global trade liberalization agenda, without the Tax Evasion stemming provisions built in… Naturally this omission makes the G8 Leaders defensive as are bracing for the looming Battle on Corporate Tax Evasion where the opportunities for cracking down on tax evasion, tax avoidance, and corruption in extractive industries, as well as the political challenges to implementing these reforms, separate the assembled leaders from their Peoples. And admittedly, there are No Quick Fixes for the Corporate Tax-Haul, as pressure to act builds amongst all major economies’ constituencies. Even as tax avoidance schemes by major corporations have brought heightened attention to the need for internationally synchronized tax reform, high-level talks may be insufficient to overcome powerful corporate interests and political lobby resistance.

And while on the subject of Transparency after the NSA Prism revelations by Mr Snowden, we have this bit of interesting news: All foreign politicians, participants, and officials who took part in the two G20 summit meetings in London in 2009 had their computers monitored and their phone calls intercepted on the instructions of their British government hosts, according to current revelations. Some delegates were even tricked into using internet cafes which had been set up by British intelligence agencies to give them free access and Wi-Fi so they can read their email access passwords and monitor their communications traffic. The whole connectivity system was set up to do just that. Now only if their coffee and tea were a wee bit better, we could even put up with that. But that explains why their coffee sucked so bad. These guys were not Barristas, they were just your average spook, pretending to be making coffee. So much for the G8 safety and comfort of the palate of the assembled delegates. This year they should be assured that they are being protected by David Cameron – protector of civil rights and his joke squad… [] and just choose to not communicate with anyone for the duration. Radio Silence is the only option for now.

On the issue of fake Internet cafes, it’s telling, that when David Cameron selected the luxurious Lough Erne Resort as the host venue of this G8, he declared the summit would be a “brilliant advertisement” for Northern Ireland. Certainly Enniskillen, which sits in a lush lakeland to the far west of the province, is blighted with closed shops and economically impoverished unemployed youth. Yet it sits rather cozily, near the border with the Irish Republic whose fortunes are also rocky. The village has been given a full-on paint job in anticipation of the delegations’ arrival, and is now full of fake cafes. Keeping with the fake internet cafe theme of previous G Summits, the British government had set up in order to steal your passwords and communications, this town’s empty shops and businesses have been freshened up with a new coat of paint and, to the vast amusement of locals, their empty store front windows have been covered with paintings, showing fake scenes of bustling cafe culture taking place inside. The irony is a bit too much sometimes — but there you have it…

On other matters that matter — the EU is now officially pushing the US to explain it’s global reach of the NSA’s infamous “Prism” Surveillance apparatus and the future intent of this technology usage, while engaging in it’s own surveillance programs.
Recent revelations about the US Prism program collecting data on other governments and even foreign citizens and government ministers abroad, have brought heightened attention to disagreements between the United States and European Union over online privacy, jeopardizing the fate of the long-sought trade pact even further than the Culture Wars between Hollywood and the French Elyse Palace. God, how I miss Carla…
She would have solved this right aways with a song and a naked photo shoot.

Still the US hopes their NSA Surveillance won’t derail the Data Trade Agreement Goals… but that one US objective is a bridge too far. After all in the Transatlantic trade negotiations for lowering the barriers to moving electronic data across borders, which is a boon on innovation and a natural technical prerequisite to cloud computing — has all been put on the kibosh. Since the recent revelations about the extent of US surveillance have given new life to the legal case for requiring firms to maintain local servers, out of reach from the “Prism” – as if that’s possible any longer.

And since the EU-US trade talks falter because of France’s illusion of it’s cultural supremacy due to protectionist interests of it’s audiovisual sector – we are already minus one in these talks. France lacking sovereignty in Culture and Civilization – they want to enshrine it by seeking a “cultural exception” in the upcoming EU-US trade talks. So France has threatened to veto the agreement if television and digital media are not exempted. Still on this issue the United States is adamantly opposed same as the Hollywood Hills titties party lobby crowd. This seems to mask the certain disagreement about the NSA but never mind the bollocks.

The British prime minister outlined the G8’s Security and Development Agenda for the G8 Foreign Ministers’ Meeting Statement as a preparatory meeting for the summit, where foreign ministers reached agreements on preventing sexual violence in conflict and supporting the Deauville Partnership [last G8], which provides political and financial support for Arab countries in transition, among other issues, but failed to reach meaningful consensus on the question of Syria, because of the clouds over the US-Russia lack of interest for a Syria Peace Accord.
As discussions continue between Russia and the United States on an international conference to broker a settlement between Syrian rebels and the Assad regime – the view from Moscow is like the foggy bottom in Washington DC. Keep it outside the G8, give us some honey, and we’ll keep quiet about it all. Bring it on and we’ll blow…

Simple Black Bear Diplomacy…

Lastly — the lack of progress on Food Security is failing the starving masses of the other half of our wealthy and terribly mismanaged World. A world whose Food Supply is managed by profiteers and not leaders, is a Sorry world. This being an old problem, the New Alliance for Food Security and Nutrition, a product of last year’s summit, has raised substantial private funds. This happened, while also bringing together philanthropists, the private sector, and African countries, but it failed to deliver an iota of food yet. Still it’s worth noting that China – Africa’s biggest trading partner – was not even invited to the talks. This undiplomatic ignominy, and some major food conglomerate’s corporate interests, have undermined the initiative’s objectives.

Therefore, Leopold, the King of Congo and Belgium, is still alive as corporate interests continue the Plunder of Africa. Here, the former UN secretary general Koffi Anna, says: “No region has suffered more from tax evasion, aggressive tax planning and plunder of national wealth through offshore-registered companies than Africa.” A muddy multilateral solution, such as the one adopted by the European Union and also now advocated by the British PM Mr Cameron – could be the swift and easy solution because it would have the same effect as doubling the scarce food aid towards the poorer African nations.

On the one issue invisible to the G8 boy scouts – the Climate Chaos issue – this is where we’ve gone completely pear shaped. Strikingly, our erstwhile PM, Mr David Cameron is to blame because like a true Bullington club member is full of bull, and completely out of touch with the world surrounding us. A modern day Marie Antoinette, he is hugely responsible for the giant omission of Climate Change from the G8 agenda this year. This wrong footed call, came despite the extreme weather, the wettest year and the driest year on record – both at the same time – and the overwhelming scientific consensus about the Threat of the advancing global warming and runaway climate change disastrous effects making all Foreign Humanitarian Aid completely irrelevant. What good is Aid and Debt Relief to Africa if they are going to be unable to have agriculture?

Does anyone else here see this thing? Because, this year a spate of destabilizing weather events aside, the UK’s agenda for the G8 summit does not contain “a single mention” of climate change. This is an omission that is responsible for the extreme activism now brewing across the world to address this with CHANGE and VISION from the people, by the people and for the people.

This G8 is truly the Summit of last resort. Or shall I say lost resolve, no guts, no glory, no vision and no hope….
Omissions, lack of cojones, loss of momentum, and Internet cafes with terribly bad coffee and great surveillance rule the day…

And this being the self patting and helpful back slapping capital of the world for a few days, we have to self congratulate and offer plenty of flattery to each other for a job well done. Duh? Blatant flattery as if maintaining member states’ compliance for the transparency as seen by the UK Department for International Development is a high hope. The official G8 Accountability Report is a self-assessment, published in advance of the 2013 summit, praising the interests of the G8 member states… The white-wash report states that member states have generally made good progress in fulfilling development commitments made over the past eleven years… but without any specifics. This is what the Overseas Development Institute’s Accountability Report states quite clearly. I also add to it my Felicitations and major Congratulations to the leaders, for being able to brush teeth, put on their shorts, and wear socks, in the morning when they get up from bed…
Now their work done they can go back to sleep.


Goodnight and Good luck.

Now let’s see if you can dance…

To note, I quote: “” The British think tank issues a “lower–but still positive–assessment” of the G8’s performance in international development. The report, which challenges the official evaluation’s methodologies, makes the case for greater ambition among G8 states and “more robust and independent scrutiny of the delivery record.””

Oh my God what dribble…


Lest we forget — we should examine Britain’s Place in Europe now that momentum for a “Brixit” – the UK’s exit from the European Union – is growing amongst both the British public and David Cameron’s ministers and backbenchers. Certainly, the stage is set for a countdown, a referendum, a Poll or a simple forum to discuss the United Kingdom’s future role in Europe.

Maybe a Conversation in one of those MI5 internet caffes will suffice to sort out this matter. let’s have a coffee – just hold the beans and give us hot water.

Same like everything else, the political risk is minimal for any of the issues discussed in this version of the G8 because in the absence of crisis-induced urgency, these type of Leader gatherings are herd mentality summits that are little more than well staged “Kodak Moments” in a nice setting, and a few rounds of golf. Established and emerging powers, all with competing interests and focused on domestic challenges, are “not willing & not able” to lead on “problems without borders.” So this Group of Eight Summit is just another brick in the wall. Or maybe another pillar of Today’s ‘G-x World’ since individually strong states successfully pursue collective action in a variety of ad hoc forums that serve their narrowly defined needs. Forums like the general talks that convince people that their leaders are really doing something in their best interests. Forums like the platitude dinners, and the generalities lunches. Forums like this and the other G gatherings that lack the charms and excitement of a G spot. Forums like this. Among them, the G8 remains the kingpin with it’s coveted legitimacy and the unique advantages of a multilateral forum for political and macroeconomic coordination — but little else of true value.
Except the special batch of aptly named “G8 weed” that people smoke all around Cathedral Quarter, to be able to stop minding the Bollocks going on all around the G8… It’s strong potent shit – grown locally by the busloads. Seems like everyone is growing the stuff and this FIS, the “Free Irish Spirit” has united young farmers of the new mono culture, regardless of religious and national divide affiliations. It’s the new Guiness. Good Friday never smelled so good.

Maybe that’s why the young people are so chilled out here and have no interest in killing each other. They smoke the peace pipe frequently and pass it around often, and talk about peaceful things and make lot’s of love and new babies. And that’s how it’s done. As for myself — smoked but not inhaled… Still a light head was achieved. Some of that sweet smelling smoke should be fanned towards the meeting, so it can waft into the G8 up the assembled leaders noses. Am sure Obama won’t mind, but others need to imbibe and loosen up a little. Maybe get a little light headed, reflective, and open up their doors of perception, to get the thing that’s most lacking here; VISION…

At long last this FIS thing the youth here grows, shares, and smokes, appears to be the only hope we have for getting some Vision at this year’s G8.

Mr President, Go Ahead, Smoke the Chronic, find a friend, and go walk the beautiful countryside…

Ideas will ensue.

Vision will follow.

Trade That…


Sorry mates — it appears the Banker-Wankers have won again.

At least this round…

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