Posted by: Dr Churchill | December 27, 2013

To all my girlfriends a bit of a Christmas gift to make their New Year a Good One.

After a bit of prodding from my current lady friend — I had to fess up.

And I had to come clean because I finally figured out something about my relationship with women that I was never taught and it was time we shared this…

And the reason I wasn’t taught this is only because my elders didn’t know. At least that is what I surmise about my experience.

It’s something cool that my parents didn’t know, because they likely didn’t understand it about themselves either.

What I found out is child simple.

You can create a deep and passionate relationship by learning and practicing this simple and important secret with all your loved ones too.

And women are completely unaware as they go out competing for men’s affections. And in the process, you’ll discover that a lot of your confusion about men will get cleared up.

Without it, your relationships will continue to be frustrating and confusing and erupting in fits and starts leading nowhere fast.

Here’s the secret:

Your man needs LOVING.

Simple as that.

He needs the exact kind of loving care and attention you need.

He needs TLC and not TBC.

Give the total loving care and forget the total bitch from hell.

We all wanna be happy.

Everyman needs the same care and attention you need.

And if you remember your best moments — that is the exact type of Loving your man neds.

Same like the Love you needed and received as a child.   

Here’s the Neurological Reality:

All newborns need and want one thing from their mother, father, or primary caregiver. LOVE.

We as adults call it loving.  And for us love is fine but to an infant, love is a very particular experience.

Here’s what it should look and feel like:

You cry. Your mother picks you up, and holds you close to her body.

She looks down into your eyes with love and care, saying in a sweet, soft voice:  “It’s okay, honey. I’ve got you. I’ll keep you safe. You can relax now. Someday, you’ll learn how to take care for yourself. For now, you can count on me to make you a priority whenever you need me.”

When a mother consistently gives her child this gentle touch, soft voice, and reassuring eye contact, the baby feels safe and secure. It allows the baby to relax. For the baby, this is love. It’s what love feels like. This feeling of security is a primal bond that the baby can trust.

So what does good loving has to do with the nurturing of early childhood?


The new neuroscience of love shows that none of us ever outgrow this need to depend on someone to hold and care for us.

The same feeling of deep trust and secure attachment is needed in your current relationship. If it’s missing, the anxiety of insecurity is in the way—for one or both of you.

For adults, insecurity acts as a passion thief. Many women can’t open their body or their hearts when they feel unsafe.

Most men can be loving without opening their hearts because we’ve been culturally programmed to be strong, independent agents that “don’t need nobody.”

And the women who bitch and moan all the time about all their insecurities and load them up to their men are the major cause why they end up alone…

Women lose their men to other women frequently and simply because they are always trying to secure themselves by projecting their insecurities, demeaning their men and their endeavours, and talking way too much about what’s in their head.

Sadly this method of reacting is a giant failure and it causes women to achieve the opposite result of what they truly want out of life.




It’s that simple — Yet most men and women are blindingly unaware of the sublime bliss that comes from secure, deeply committed partnerships.

partnerships without fear, uncertainty and doubt.

Full fledged Love affairs.

That’s all we want and that’s all we can hope for to be happy.

After all we are all initially created in the image of God, and we are always re-creating and restoring that image in Love.

You could say that all we have to be doing here is love.

Yet we believe that we cannot know the mind of one another and we mistrust.

Still our salvation lays in Love and as it happens it is contagious when transformed people, like Jesus — Love — they naturally transform other people.

And Love is rubbing off on one another, and this process of passing on Love is much easier to magically transform each other, change people, situations, and the suffering of our world.

Love is All and this is the Message too.

So in this Holiday Season are you equipped to pass on the real message?

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