Posted by: Dr Churchill | February 14, 2014

Cinem darling, Love You still — From the Heart — Happy Valentine’s to all with love…

About a year ago, I was in the middle of terrible break up.

Even though our relationship was already shattered, my divorce was terminal and further complicated by a very young person’s death and the resultant devastation.

So, I spent the biggest part of 2013 in mourning, not really coming up for air until August.

Then a new Love arrived…

It came as a short relationship with a new kind of romance for me.

A summer fling that grew into a Love that fired all my synapses and brought a bolt of sunlight into my Life.

It was so powerful that brought us together like it never had happened before. It was burning my soul, to the point where our individual imagined futures were one and the same.

A soulmate had arrived.

We began our romance on what seemed like the 1st year of marriage, playing house together, sailing, traveling, and coworking.

We did the responsible things but still enjoyed the wild honeymoon newness of it all.

As normal relationships go, we projected all we could into this union, and overlooked the signs that the timing wasn’t right for either of us. When this realization finally hit — we parted as lovers.

And vowed to never see each other again because it was so painful.

We held to that chosen enmity, as lovers and never betrayed our oath: never see or contact each other again to save our hearts the breakage….

I fvckin suffered — but still felt as though I had lived an entire lifetime in this union — and then we died…

I felt like it was a full marriage, that ended and my emotions were raw. Still our Life was inclusive of all the stages of love, sacraments, and life transitions. In some strangely familiar sense, it felt like we were coupled in a previous life and part of my journey in this life was to connect with it again…

Ahhh maybe St Valentine knows how this feels.

Yours,
Pano

PS:

On another level I remembered the words of Tom Robbins:

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet.”

― Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker


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