Posted by: Dr Churchill | August 3, 2014

Ten fold Man – Woman Love and Leadership Practice

In Love and War all is permitted… this is how the popular saying goes.

Yet this could hardly  be further from the truth.

Both War and Love require abundant Leadership and it is this the very definition of what is not permissible and what is desirable.

Because Leadership in Love and War is always the practice of the Middle Way.

The practice of the Path.

The WAY itself.

In short it is simply the “Tao TE”

The TAO of Leadership and the TE of Love is what I’ll teach you here, so bear this Chinese introduction…

These are the analects of what one needs to cultivate in order to be part of the Ten fold Man – Woman Love and Leadership Practice:

Read this at your own risk because it will change You whether you like it or not.

That’s the case with Good Brain Software — it changes your mind’s operating system. And in turn it literally changes You. it changes who you are — whether you intended to or not.

So keep on reading even though this might not be safe for work… since chances are your job is one form of drudgery or another snugly fitted in a gold gilded cage. Today’s leaders are often found in the difficult position of corporate bondage. And when you start changing under the influence of this brand of Bleeding Edge Software, you will no longer be able to be the caged canary you have been for far too long. You shall not be able to abide the shite going on in Corpoland, but you will yearn to be FREE, to LEAD, and to be CREATIVELY LED by REAL PEOPLE.

In short You will aspire to be human again.

So what remains is to wish you Good Luck on this singularly worthy endeavour…. and remind you that it is a process of Love that will make you a Good Leader or even a Great One.

And love takes Commitment. Simple as that. Start loving who you are and you’ll discover what you deserve…

Starting with the fact that we now have multiple Mona Lisas, you understand that within each successful organization you have many Leaders. And the more leaders you have the better the company gets…

Now if you are the type of Leader that reads this blog, and ponders things — then you surely aspire to create, to lead and be creatively led, and in short to be unleashed to be free. So go ahead and read and maybe your next leap to freedom and success might be found within these lines.

But be warned: This is dangerous stuff. It’s like dynamite and nitroglycerin blended into a nice mojito with fresh mint and dark brown sugar and Cuban dreamy rum chilled with crushed ice and served in a wide brim column glass ready to be sipped…

So use at your own risk…

Drink the juice of Freedom here and above all else please drink wisely…

We are all created free and yet we are found everywhere in bondage is how Jean Jacques Rousseau (1712–1778) describes this post industrial conundrum, coming from a predicament clearly visible in the preindustrial age: “Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.”

Now these TEN Management Traits when applied in your Life, Your Company, Your Career,  Your Family, Your Circle of Friends, and in Your Leadership Practice, are what will make all your employees either quit or jump for Joy and give you a hug…  Either way You all win and the Company will thrive with a smaller passionate and cohesive group of committed individuals who can cross the chasm of disbelief into the land of product iteration, success, governance, cybernetic systems total function, scaling,excellence, positive results, and profitability.

So methinks that now is the time to look at the other side of the conversation surrounding leadership.

The platform of this knowledge is the pre-requisite knowledge of Leadership as distilled in the 5 Panoisms you have all heard before:

1.Know Yourself, 2.Know thy People, 3.Know thy Market, 4.Know thy Product, 5. Know thy Vision.

Am assuming that since you already are a leader and you have this position as evidenced by reading this blog — you are allowed to proceed. So provided that you’ve got the platform under your knowledge belt securely, you can go on from here.

Whomever You are there You are. Good leader, bad leader, or in between…

But no matter who and where you are — You are a person, full of infinite potential and unlimited growth.

Know that and as people can evolve organically, grow in years and maturity, so you can evolve professionally, and thus you can evolve as a leader.

Evolve and progress just like you do elsewhere in this life.

But set your Vision for that too — same as for anything else. You’ve got to know where you are going… Shoot for the Moon to get to the next field.

Shoot for the Moon … literally … Set the Vision high and bend the bow with your whole being. Pull the string with all your might and release…

1) Be a Leader of Humans not processes and machines:

Human Nature is evocative, always evolving, and mirroring best practices. It’s a survival mechanism akin to adaptation… therefore we can surmise that Leadership is an acquired mindset and an action imperative that arises in group dynamics and is always available for someone to grasp, learn, and lead. Thucydides is a prime example of that.  Leading ten thousand men without any prior leadership experience must have felt like a fine burden but to the young man it arose from within because he rose to the needs and the circumstances and acted like a thoughtful power sharing and responsibility awarding warrior leader. Other evidences also point to the fact that “Leaders are made, they are not born…” –Vince Lombardi, one of football’s most honoured coaches sorted out this conundrum by saying this and following it up with another fitting gem: “Effective leadership is predicated upon trust: that must be earned, it can not be given.”

Carefully consider this thought from, coach Vince Lombardi: “leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile.” This is basic stuff but I always believed that with some effort put forth everyone can improve their leadership skills.

And it is equally important for men and women leaders to strive to be free of prejudice and management habit. It is important to be original in their thought and action sequence. And it is the most important thing to always act as Leaders before they evaluate the situation and regardless of the cost.

That is the essence of true leadership.

2) Be Supportive of all efforts no matter how short of the mark they fall:

A good manager gives his/her employees the tools they need to be successful. A bad manager assigns tasks with little or no direction, and then becomes upset when the employee doesn’t meet the expectation. Remember the Seinfeld episode where George doesn’t hear his boss’ instructions, but he is too afraid of what his boss might do if he asks for clarification? He spends the whole week pretending to know what to do. Two words come to mind here, lost productivity. Be approachable so your employees feel they can ask questions.

3) Understand and Harness the Power of Positive reinforcement and praise your people at every opportunity:

Positive reinforcement is one of the most effective tools for a person in a leadership role. One of the biggest complaints from people that hate their jobs is they never receive any credit for a job well done. If you want your employees to like working for you and to perform their best, try giving them an atta a boy every once in a while when they do well. Nobody likes to work in a thankless environment.

5) Lead By Example and gain respect:

If you want your employees to take you seriously you must lead by example. If they question your work ethic, integrity, or skill to get the job done, then they are far less likely to do their best work themselves. As a leader you need to be blazing the path for success. If you are one of those managers that comes in late and leaves early, then you might want to rethink the example you are setting for your employees. Show your Leadership Appreciation by Hosting Team Building Events. Too many companies have cut out the Christmas party. Even if you don’t do a Christmas party, you should put on some events throughout the year to show appreciation and increase morale. If there are budgetary concerns just do something simple. My company has an employee pot luck once every couple of months. Employees bring in dishes from home and then management buys the rest at a local grocery store. It is far from extravagant but the employees really enjoy it. It is a great way for the employees to get to know one another and feel a sense of community at the work place.

6) Listen to Your Employees always and without taking it personally, but instead rewarding all those who exhibit leadership by speaking out and up: 

Make sure your employees voices are heard. In order to foster an environment of innovation, management must be open to their employees ideas. Nothing stifles progress more than shooting down your employees every idea. Pretty soon they will not even offer them. This will lead to stagnation within your company. Also, consider distributing an anonymous employee satisfaction survey. This will measure the temperature of your employees. If there are action items that need to be addressed they can be identified and action can be taken to improve the work environment. Companies that don’t survey their employees are running the risk of never knowing what the problems are within the company. Thus, they have no way of fixing them. Instead a true leader rewards those truth tellers and not the ass lickers. So learn to be Generous to a fault, by Offering Incentives for the Speakers of Truth and thus ensuring their Longevity and that of the Organization.

Studies show that companies that offer incentives for truth telling, reiteration of leadership traits, excellence, success and longevity, have a greater retention rate. Whether it is a raise, bonus, additional time off, a better title, or a combination of all, incentives for excellent leadership, truth telling, no drama, and long tenure should be a part of your employee retention strategy.

7) Be Excellent yourself before expecting anyone else to be good enough…:

You know that today nobody likes a comedian, an actor, or a drama queen, or a micromanaging jerk,as a leader. People want a firm hand at the tiller and they don’t like a wimpy pushover for a boss. You can only be excellent by following the ancient Rites of Leadership and that means to be authoritative; and, still go about it with integrity and respect. You, your investors, your clients, customers and the markets right along with your employees, need to know that there is someone very competent at the helm. I guarantee you that your share value will rise each and every time You do the right thing and your people will celebrate the day they chose to work with You. Make sure they all know who the boss is, and let them respect the hard work you put in the business.

8) Be real, not only by keeping it real and free of Drama but by following the path of the Middle Road. Keep following the “Way” as ancient sages from Lao Tsu, Socrates, and Confucius, all described as the right “path” …:

Because here is the real essence of how a leader thinks. Real impacts to real people and real lives. Once you understand this — you are Golden.

And once you see the real impacts on other people’s lives being positive — then you are a real Leader ready to serve others. Until then You are just pocket-lint and panty-liner for incontinence. Like those pussy boys who always hedge their bets answering each and every question with “Depends…”  And to be verily

9) As a Man — Be A Warrior:

This applies to leadership in all human relationships and it was inspired from a message of my friend Adam Gilad “man about Town” extraordinaire and author of relationship books. His message to his men’s and women’s lists follows:

I wonder if it strikes a chord in the heart: Pick up your sword but know it will get you no victories. A warrior’s task is to realize that there are no losses and no triumphs, only the challenge before you right now. And now. And now again. That may sound strange to you ,or depressing – because who doesn’t like a nice, toasty triumph now and then – in the form of a luscious woman, say, or a pile of money? But those triumphs pass like wind. Those “triumphs” leave you. And you are always only with yourself, no matter who is around you. And your choice is always the same … either the hard way that leads to the easy way, or the easy way that leads to the hard way. This is the life of a man.

10) As a Woman — Be Water:

This is the life of the woman.  This is what I say to my Women friends: Stay open. Let the white noise of unconscious men wash over and past you. Stay focused on that light on the distant shore – the man who has done his inner work, who is a warrior of growth – who releases his past as a practice, who is in touch with his heroic core and knows that his greatest power lies in his ability to serve and raise and evolve his world.

The men who do their inner work are treasures. Even if they don’t look like what you expected, sound like you expected, wear dorky shoes or don’t know Bordeaux from vinegar. Seek character – not characteristics. And let men know how sexy character is. Seek a man who self-reflects. And let men know how powerful the ability to admit he was wrong is. Seek a man who lives his life as much as a gift to the world as possible, in whatever way he feels uniquely called to give. And meet him exactly where he is. Without story. Without Drama. Without spin. Without expectation. Without the weight of the past bending your necks.

Your feminine journey is go inward and to walk forward, to shed the voices that are not yours, to shed the constrictions that have been put upon you in the past by teachers, religions, parents, lovers, brothers, bosses, and to reclaim your power and your true unique voice.

Be open and receive all who genuinely want to quench their thirst. This is your journey. The river never denies anyone water. And never stops anyone who chooses to swim in it’s current. Yet some have fun and enjoy their journey in the all welcoming river and some drown.

To quote Mary Oliver again, this time in her poem, The Journey…

“It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognised as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.”
– Mary Oliver

Keep in mind that the best men want you whole.

The best men want you in own your power.

The best men want you to tell us what is important to you, what makes you feel loved, what allows you to pour your love out onto us and into the world.

Bless and release the lesser men who want to control your voice, or to stifle it.

Pay attention to the men who celebrate your strength.

Because that is a man of character.

And this the doorway to a life of Leadership, Love, access, and Fullfillment….


Well there you have it.

That is all folks. Now You know….

“Perfection is not attainable. But if we chase it, we can catch excellence.” –Coach Vince Lombardi

And if you still want to know what Life is far beyond the bounds of work and glory, here it goes:

“The grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls.”

–John Muir



Diving Beneath Together

Let’s go into this Life together…

In a spirit of playfulness and curiosity…

Let’s remember that beneath our masks, beneath our fears, beneath our shields and beneath all that bluster, sarcasm, and haughtiness…

… we all carry pain and wounds.

… and beneath that,

we all desire one thing…

… to love and be loved.

So if you want to be a Leader, learn this little thing from me rather well:

And practice makes perfect…

But let this little bit of Brain software settle into your own brain…

Love and be Loved

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