Posted by: Dr Churchill | December 17, 2014

Dirty Dozen

Being in San Francisco it strikes me as a vacation from reality.

There is a clear divide between Silicon Valley and San Fran and it could only just be bridged by weirdness, levity, and folly.  And the Burner culture i also contributing strongly to the mix making it utterly impossible to distinguish what is real and what is the theatre of Life.

Money is sloshing here and there and I hear all of my friends getting shitloads of VC cash to pursue their dreams and create valuable businesses and move the needle on growth.

All manner of technological advancements are made possible in this ebullient space and time. But above all else the situation on high jinks is increasing too.

Many advanced degrees of education are pursued and in typical San Francisco fashion some of them are outright ridiculous.

Example is the female and male “Take Off” technique known as One Taste or OM [Orgasmic Meditation] or otherwise known as getting a Doctoral Dissertation on masturbation.

Getting each other off. This is where San Francisco might seem fit to hold and stroke… but it goes far beyond this.

Still it is the most popular continuing education theme n San Fran to stroke each other till Kingdom Come.

And based on how the definition of self stands – it’s applicable for men and women too. A veritable free for all with some ill defined rules. But rules there are and their definition changes with the weather.

Still all “aboriginal San Francisco natives” flock to learn how to get off themselves and other people — in the comfort of a giant conference hall running around without their pants on — in front of a room full of Strangers.

And they invite these strangers to play with their private bits and make them go “Ahh” “Ahh” and “That’s it” “Hold it right there big boy” — until they swoon as if there is no tomorrow.

Welcome to America.

Here people get help to masturbate and they are calling it an investment in scientific education.

In San Fransisco, getting each other off is called research.

“Research”

Research as in Scientific research. And going to a giant meeting hall, where strangers finger the “Clit” and get women to scream is called “Higher Education”

Believe me.

Am not making this shit up…

It’s actually a Start Up well financed and heavy on the Oumph…

In San Francisco it’s all about helping each other in a Shared Economy way — to get off…

This kind of Rocketry is not exactly what my friend Ellon Musk is involved into, but there are many other who are knee deep into it.  This modern rocketry is more like what Nicole Daedone is involved into, and it has got “something” to do with masturbating each other till the cow come home.

“Come”

Or “Come What It May”

Still it is a very helpful culture when you see the “natives” who want to be so hospitable that they start by jerking you off, right the first moment they meet You.

All in the interest of science and scientific education. Am just saying…

Still I must remind you that I don’t write about “Help”. Self Help or Other People’s Help.  I call it Bullshit.

I think that is a hugely entertaining BS industry.

Coaching is BS too.

Getting you off by fingering the shit out of your clit is also BS.

So is psychotherapy and Sigmund Freud’s “Yo Momma Is A Bitch” Theory…

But let’s keep it civil here, because this is a serious blog — most of the time — but I reckon, it’s hard enough to help ourselves, let alone help others.

It’s especially difficult helping others when they are laying helpless on the couch mentally masturbating about their sorry Life.

I’ve got one thing to say to You:

“You’ve got to get off the couch and fight man.”

That’s All.

That’s the END of this Blog.

Goodbye now.

What?

Want more?

OK…

Go ahead and Fight to get the juice flowing. Fight against evil and fight against injustice, and fight against the Man… or the machine… or whatever “comes” at you first.

Because for all of us, most of the time, every day is a battle against the things that will take us down.

I know. I speak from experience.

Cause I’ve fallen so much — I’ve come up with a comprehensive list of the twelve primary ways you can fail and thus destroy your life.

A list to end all lists.

And if you fail to sink your ship through the following dirty dozen best methods — I’ve got two words for you:

“Scapa Flow.”

But in the interest of human species Survival, I am keen to keep you around and therefore I have to warn You that as long as you avoid these Ten things, you will probably jump from lily pad to lily pad across the pond and make it to the other side, without becoming frog legs garniture in a French Chef’s dish.

So unless you love being the subject of Haute French Cuisine — as in saute frog legs — please don’t do these :

(1) CRACK SMOKING

Please dont…

(2) CLIT LIT. DON’T READ THAT SHIT. 

Avoid at all costs.

(3) ORGASMIC MEDITATION, AND OTHER TYPES OF MASTURBATION CLASSES

See Above and Bellow. Should You decide to indulge, please do this at your own risk and consult the Catholic Church manual on sin.

(4) UNCERTAINTY ABOUT REALITY LEADING TO SICKNESS

Sometimes it’s not your fault if your sick. But, don’t fool yourself – most of the time it’s 100% your fault.

When my stomach hurts it might mean I had too much hot and spicy Indian food the night before or my lover got me to drink a bit too much whiskey to calm me down and ride me, or I was way too stressed the day before. Too little sleep is also linked to sickness. It turns out that too much “Maladie Imaginaire” is linked to more complaining about health. See Moliere’s play if you don’t believe me.

Still, You can make many choices to prevent sickness and improve health. You already know what they are. You don’t need to read them in a book.

(5) LACK OF ACTION & INERTIA

I know David Sedaris and we got to talking in England in a Men’s Club. Not the kind of club you are imagining, but I like the way you are thinking even though perverted… It is a classic private club where men have lunch or dinner with their friends. And he said that when he goes to a dinner party, many of the people talk about the books they have no time to write. The dinner might go until well past midnight. No wonder they have no time to write their books.

So he takes out his notepad, and starts writing every night on the dinner party circuit, and thus have some cool material to collate in the morning.

A story each night. At the club, at the dinner table, at the bathroom — whatever. In a month he has his novel done. If it becomes a bestseller — he take a holiday. If not… well He writes another one. So while everyone else is gropping each other under the table, and then sleeping off all the alcohol the next day — he writes. About all the people and the things discussed all around him.

He is now on the hundredth short story and on the tenth novel this far…

(6) DOUBTS

I started a company on the fly back in 1999, but for some reason I did not do any competitive research. I just assumed my company was the only company on earth at the time on my space of the Universe, doing what I liked best.

It turned out I had about five hundred competitors, some significantly more advanced than mine. I started to sweat. I didn’t know what to do.

But I knew I had more passion for the project and more knowledge than any of my competitors but I was very afraid they would “defeat” me.

When you pour your soul into something, it turns the sweet milk tea made of boiling water and a herb — into nuclear energy.

I have never doubted since then that when I pour everything I have into a project that it will turn into a nuclear project. If I write down ten ideas on how to make my business better, then it will become better.

Eighteen months later I sold that business. All of my competition went out of business.

(7) LAZINESS 

It’s important to actually DO the best YOU can in every situation and give it One Hundred Percent.

(8) CARELESSNESS

One time my cofounder pitched our tech company to a good Angel who was also a long time friend that I really wanted to work with.

His people said no.

I said to him, email him, call him, or even take him out to lunch and ask him why.

He did and the guys on the other end “hung up” on him.

Then the “Angel” called me back and said, “if you ever tell me to do this review of our “No” again — then that’s the last conversation we have.”

It turned out that’s the last conversation we had.

He had been my “Angel” for about two decades. He had made a lot of money because of me and this was the first time he was talking back to me in anger…

So I called other Angels and VCs in the Bay area and on “SandHill Road” and turned the “no” into a “yes” pretty quick. I wrote the Business Plan that people said, “yes” to and defend it with awesome pitch, and it worked.

You get careless when you don’t check every angle. When you get carved into a routine that is destined to be a road to nowhere, this exactly where You’ll end up.

So do the opposite of that…

(9) VACILLATING

I wasted a whole year of my life once trying to write a book. And then someone next to me died and I wrote the book in six weeks. People offered me great CEO jobs and I didn’t feel ready to take any of them. I thought I had to write a novel. To be the man who wrote the novel that spoke of our angst. And I did it grandly.

I sequestered myself in the middle of the winter in the Archers’ village in the midst of Hungary on the plains with a horse and started writing. It was absolutely cold, lonely, and serene. But I lived through it because I had decided to do it.

The book came out. And my decision proved right. To this day I remember riding out every morning in the snow fields, white as far as the eye can see, and coming back to make a fire and write…

It was a good decision.

Keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong decisions. It’s just

There’s just decisions. You either make them or you wait to make them. And while you are waiting, everything in your life goes on hold.

(9) NO PROGRESS

I started a Social Network once. Or twice. Many times actually. I had this obsession with starting People’s Networks. Wireless Networks. The first ever Wi-Fi networks. The first community network sites. I did it all. Again and again and again. I think it was a Community Social fantasy that I wanted to help people meet each other and create a better world with each other.

In any case, I never made too much progress on any of those networks because we would be shut down by the big companies who “owned” the internet back then.

But I always had this dream that the Social Network would work. Still, when there’s no forward motion I shut it all down pretty quickly.

Why not? If you are writing down twelve ideas a day there are many more things to explore.

(10) DELUSIONS

One time I had a discussion with a CEO who was building a Pipe dream factory for humus. The earth soil variety of it. And he thought there was not enough of that shit to go around this earth and wanted my investment on it…

You now he had to make things more interesting so they built the factory in the deserts of Egypt inside fvckin Cairo. And as if there is not enough sand in the desert they went ahead to producing more…

That’s an extreme case of course, but I get each and every day, business plans from people who think their business is the one business that will change the world forever.

I got a plan the other day that was a social dating network for the cheating Mormon people. Like a Mormon Tinder App. Go figure. That’s an extreme example — but I believed it would fly because Mormons have this Magic Underwear thing going on. .

Most people fall for a cognitive bias called “Sunk cost bias” where because they’ve already invested a lot of energy into something, then it must be the greatest business possible.

Always take a step back and make sure you aren’t deluded. Are you solving an urgent problem for someone in a scalable fashion and is it showing forward progress.

Or, in a relationship, how many people do you know who are going out with men or women who are unavailable? Fact: 95% of relationships that start off with one person betraying another don’t work out.

Don’t be deluded.

(11) FALLING BACKWARDS

I was talking…

This is where he could’ve fallen backwards and stopped writing one of my favorite movies ever.

Instead, he found a safety net where he could play out his ideas and work through his issues. He started doing stand up comedy. Then he finished the movie.

If a business is going bad: if you are losing clients or key employees, you can give up. That’s ok. But have your safety net. Your plan B.

Know that you can still do something productive and this will see you through to the other side, rather than caving in to feelings of failure and misery and “Why me?”

Writing ten ideas down every day, being healthy, being grateful and giving to others, will always give you the safety net where you can fall and then bounce higher than you’ve ever been before.

When you feel yourself falling backwards, remember that you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with.

But even more important, remember that you are the average of the five thoughts you have throughout the day. You can choose “anger” or “gratitude”. You can choose “regret” or “what did I learn?” You can choose, “I give up” or you can try standup comedy for awhile.

But above all else try this trick: Next time You feel like falling — Fall Forward.

(12) LACK OF VISION 

The easiest way to help yourself is to have a compass and follow it’s bearings like a good boy scout, or girl scout — as the case might be.

Go boldly into the forest and don’t be afraid of the big bad ass wolf, just so long as You don’t hurt yourself. Cause if you hurt yourself then the wolves will smell the blood and the fear and tear you to pieces or just have you for the family’s celebrations as a Mexican Pinata.

o please don’t hurt yourself in any of the above mentioned ways unless you enjoy and like to be a sex toy for sick bastards out there.

So remember that nobody can do this but you. This is the meaning of “choose yourself”. Nothing else.

Later, I’m going to go to the FB campus. It’s a zoo out there. I like watching all the people trying to be hackers in style but in reality being hipsters with attitude. And money issues. Beautiful people. Ugly people. People with stories.

And we’ll look at them as if they were trees or animals. It’s a hugely educating and somewhat entertaining past time, teaching us the rigours of Buddhist gossip and fashion police game playing.

You should try it sometime.

Yours,

Pano

PS:

And in case you think this post is utterly pessimistic — I must warn you again about the relationship between Smoking Crack and Scapa Flow.

The one leads to the other.

Or vice versa.

Yet as each one of us has carved out a piece of universe that was given to us when we are born — we are the fortunate children of inheriting the stars.

And all we have to do is carry these stars safely on their predetermined orbit, until the day we die.

We have to protect that piece of sky, to let it shine each day and night, so it can reflect and learn from everything that happens to us.

And that predetermination bit — it was just a tease to see if you are reading this far.

Because it’s all up to you to make something great here and now.

And much later we will all get together and laugh about it.

And when we meet and put the pieces back together, all we’ll talk is gonna be about sex.

Am sure then we’ll intercourse and make something new and beautiful together.


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