Posted by: Dr Churchill | May 16, 2021

Allow Love …

What is Love?

I do not claim to know exactly what it is but I have an encyclopedic knowledge of it and here it goes:

The notion of love is actually quite complex, because we can love someone in the notion of love and go on to marry and make a life with an eneretirelt person(s). 

As indeed we can love a child unconditionally with our entire sense of self — yet we set them free and guide them to leave the when the time comes for them to fly off on their own and make a Life for themselves. 

Same as we can love a parent, a sibling, or a best friend, but in a very different way than we love our significant other, and the Love of our Life.

Our Soul-mates are anothe rtkind of Love altogether, becuase Love is food for the Soul.

In the same vein we can show love and compassion for all others, and yet forget to love ourselves or even those closest to us.

So now, methinks that we need to figure out what self love means before anything else.

And also because believing that we love life, or that we love ourselves — has a very different intensity from the notion of Love that our virgin puppy love shows up when we say “I love you” for the first time to that person that is the entire universe of our existence… 

types of love

Interestingly enough, the solitary word “love” is somehow supposed to encompass all of these emotions and feelings. Perhaps society has taught us to distinguish the various types and degrees of love based on connotations, nuances, or experiences. 

Yet, in complete contrast to today’s pedantic love — the philosophers of ancient Greece defined Love as a distinct quality, and that is why they came up with hundreds of differing kinds of love that can all be summed up to about seven big types of love that are the headings for our feelings today:

  1. “Eros” is the type of love that illustrates sexual attraction, physical desire towards others, and a certain lack of control. It is powerful, passionate, and can dissipate quickly. Relationships that are built solely on “Eros” love tend to be short-lived.

2. “Philia” love accounts for the type of love that you feel for parents, siblings, family members, and close friends. This type of love is linked with loyalty, companionship, and trust. Philia love is shared among those who have similar values and experiences. The Greek philosophers considered Philia to be an equal love and valued it higher than Eros love.

3. “Storge,” this type of love describes the unconditional love that parents have for their children. It is defined by unconditional approval, acceptance, and sacrifice. This type of love helps a child to develop through attachment, encouragement, and security.

4. “Agape” love is representative of universal love. Greek philosophers felt that this is the type of love that people feel for other humans, for nature, and for a higher power. This love can be most easily expressed through meditation, nature, intuition, and spirituality. Agape love can be used interchangeably for charity and care for others.

5. Playful love is defined by flirtatiousness, seduction, and sex without commitment. The focal point of this love is on the experience rather than attraction or feelings. Ludus is evident in the beginning of a relationship and is comprised with elements of play, teasing, and excitement.

6. Long-lasting love is evident in couples who have been together for a long period of time. This type of love continues to develop throughout the years and portrays synchronization and balance. This type of love can only survive with constant maintenance and nurturance.

7. Self-love is linked with confidence and self-worth and is necessary for a sense of purpose and fitting in. “Philautia” can be unhealthy and linked to narcissistic behaviors and arrogance, or can be healthy in the sense that we love ourselves before we learn how to love others. Greek philosophers believed that true happiness could only be achieved when one had unconditional love for themselves. 

Perhaps today, we do not need to break down the concept of love even more than what the ancient Greek philosophers did, because admittedly, it would be very complicated to incorporate these ancient Greek terms into our daily conversations and therefore our understanding would be lagging behind our vocabulary…

However, here are some summaries, some bits and pieces, and of course some awful truths from each term of endearment and love that helps to comprise our notion of love today.

And of primary import is to understand that these types of love are not mutually exclusive, because we do not love in pieces or “to pieces” but in the total being of our heart.

Still, we love as people do, in all kinds of ways and in differing levels of intensity. For example, your romantic relationship might be full of eros (sexual attraction), but to truly achieve pragma (long-lasting love), you also need ludus (playful love), philautia (self-love) and philia (affectionate love). A healthy friendship of course, relies on philia (affectionate or platonic love), but also needs philautia (self-love) and some degree of support from “storge” (familiar love) in your growing life…

Now, please go ahead and think about some of the relationships in your life.

What do you see?

Are there opportunities to strengthen the “loves” you have?

Learning about the types of love can help you to understand how you view love and how you experience love. And when you understand that, relationships begin to make so much more sense. You’ll begin to see the many facets of your relationships.

How much love is in your life just might surprise you.

Indeed, very few people have a sense of what it feels like to be loved.

We might get it intellectually or even sense it in our hearts, but the “marriage of the soul” is experienced on a deeper level when we make ourselves vulnerable to being overtaken by Love’s overwhelming desire for us to be loved and to love in return…

It is akin to an experience of allowing Love to love us.

Yet one ought to question what is that we mean by Love?

What does the word mean in the modern era context?

Am only asking because almost always when we talk about Love we are thinking of a Lover and about something we normally do with our loves, loved ones, and our lovers — and it is from that point forward, that questions, problems, confusion, discouragement, and all sorts of illusions arise.

Yet, because for me, it is the fundamental knowledge that assures us that Love is essentially what Lovers do — how is that not primarily something we are doing to Love?

And even though, sometimes we are giving to our Loves what Love truly is — one wonders who is doing this for us. And it is here that Love is doing for us the miraculous by giving us the divine Grace of Self Love in the eyes and the offering of our Love to the “other” . . . . because this is the core, the central message of the revelation of Love.

Surely it is also one article of the unconditional love of God for us, and for each one of us — regardless of what name we reserve for our God, since, the unutterable, incomprehensible miracle and mystery of love, is the Reality of all life.

And this is the message that Love desires to communicate to us.

Nothing less!

Yours,

Dr Churchill

PS:

This is Love’s irrevocable will and purpose, and the glue of the Universe as the ultimate energy force of the divine that we all share — the Soul that is both the source and the reason why everything is the way it is and why the stars of the sky stay fixed in their firmament although they are gallivanting in dizzying orbital speeds across the heavens, and why each of us also exists in the first place as product of the love of our Father and Mother manifest in the love of the sperm when seeking the egg…

Yes, my friends — indeed we are all here because we have happened to to receive this ineffable, all-transforming, and all beautifying Love that springs forth New Life into existence. . . .

Perhaps, then — we must realize, that all of what we have to do is allow ourselves to be loved, to love others best we can and to deeply understand that there will always be Love enough in our world and in all of the Universe that will always love us


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