Bleeding Edge

Right after the local Anglican Episcopal Church on Palm Sunday let the congregation out, some folks got together to break bread and share a communal meal at the Heyday; the brunch spot on the Mount Baker neighborhood in Seattle…

That’s when the most fragile and elderly lady in the world, got up to say Grace and had the attention of everyone as her faint voice echoed from the congregants following her words and repeating her gospel…

After thanking God for another day on this Earth this ancient brown paper skinned human started saying things that made no sense…

And especially when she starting talking about cookery, saying “Lord, I hate buttermilk — Lord, I hate lard.” Now the pastor was growing concerned, and Lord, you know I don’t much care for raw white flour.”

The congregants and the Pastor glanced around the room and saw that they weren’t the only ones to feel uncomfortable, because the whole restaurant had stopped chewing their food, put down their silverware and were staring openly at the old lady’s mouth listening intently for here every word…

Then, after a long pause — she added:

“But Lord, when you mix them all together and bake them, I do love them warm fresh country biscuits, so Lord, when things come up that we don’t like, when life gets hard, when we don’t understand what you’re saying to us — help us to just relax and wait until you are done mixing, because it will probably be even better than fresh hot biscuits with a bot of butter…”

“Amen.”

And that’s when the whole restaurant cried out: “Thanks Be to God.”

And since this Sunday after church, the day had simply started and it was already 2 in the afternoon and I called a friend to go for a walk on Alki before evening comes.

James and Sid joined me at the local Starbucks and we walked the promenade like old friends do on a Sunny Day.

And yet this Sunday had barely arrived and the thoughts of Monday’s work were clouding our thinking, because before you know it — Passover is here and then it’s already gonna be the end of the week and we’ll then start all over again…

… and the month is already over.

… and the year is almost over.

… and already 40, 50 or 60 years of our lives have passed.

… and we realize that we lost our parents, our lovers and even our friends.

And it is then that we realize it’s too late to go back…

Later…

– Talk to you later.

– I’ll call you later.

– See you later.

– We’ll walk later.

– I’ll tell you later.

We leave everything for later, but forget that “later” does not belong to us.

Later, our loved ones are no longer with us.

Later, we don’t hear them and we don’t see them anymore.

Later, they become just memories.

Later only the grief remains.

Later we don’t even remember how their eyes looked at us…

For me grief is simply love that has nowhere to go, so let us lay down our grief now, and Ghazal will be in my heart for now and for always, and later it will still be there, and I know that one day after a thousand days it will be less heavy.

But today, let me choose love.

And so should you.

Choose Love and Let’s love abundantly.

Let’s love freely…

Let’s love bravely…

And let’s love truly, because that is what Ghazal wanted of me, and although I am all the more broken for it, I hope and pray that you do the same. And maybe, just maybe, we all become better Human beings having lived with such ferocious and fearless Love as we did, and hope her spirit up in Heaven is the Soul that mates with mine every waking moment of my sad sojourn upon this Earth without You.

Rest for me darling — till we meet again.

Thank you my love, and now I turn around and pay it forward and can’t do anything but offer my Love to all, to each and every one of you, and to the children yet to be born.

Love each other. Do that, because later, the day becomes night, our dreams become helpless, and by the Grace of God, we remember the dawn yet we never see it again..

That simple “later” is what makes the smile frozen stiff, the beautiful face become a grimace, and soon life itself becomes death and death overtakes everything.

Yes “later” becomes “too late.”

So,

Let’s try, despite everything else, to really LIVE the remaining time we have upon this Earth.

Let’s keep looking for Love and love that we have…

Let’s put some color in our grey…

Let’s smile at the little things that put some balm in our hearts.

Because despite everything, we must continue to live with serenity this time we have left.

Let’s try to eliminate all the “afters” such as these few instances of “Afters” that steal our life as below:

I am going to be doing the right thing “after” I first make a lot of money, get married and have a big old mansion, and also accomplish this, that and the other …

I’ll share my Love with you “after”…

I’ll let my truth out right after it is safe to do so…

I’ll think about it “after”…

So sad to have to leave everything behind on our sleepwalk]king to the cemetery…

We leave everything for later like as if we know that the Great Hereafter is ours.

Yet, what we don’t understand is that there is no “after”

There is no afterwards… for us.

We dopant even know what the Great hereafter is all about — nobody knows.

All we know is that after a while — our tea gets cold,

our food is inedible.

Afterwards, all of our priorities change.

Afterwards, the charm is broken,

Afterwards, our health goes away.

Afterwards, the kids grow up.

Afterwards our parents get old and die.

Afterwards, all of our promises are forgotten,

Afterwards, the day becomes night.

Our sinews are weak.

Afterwards life ends,

and then of course it’s too late for doing anything.

So many important people lying in the cemeteries with unfinished plans, projects and responsibilities.

Because all these “afters” that lie in the cemeteries with us, are still waiting for the right moment to do what matters the most.

So…

Let’s leave nothing for later,

because while waiting to see what comes later — we can lose life’s best moments,

we can lose the best experiences,

lose the best friends,

forget the best of family…

So, please do make sure that you know today is the day;

this moment is the moment.

And life in in the now.

And since we are no longer at an age where we can afford to postpone what needs to be done right away — best we go out there and meet our purpose for being on this Earth.

Only then and after our Purpose is served we shall find the whole sum total of the Meaning of this Life too.

Our meaning, that is.

Yours,

Dr Churchill

PS:

Methinks that within that prayer there is great wisdom for all when it comes to life’s hard times, and the complexities of our daily situations like what we are experiencing going on in the world today.

So, it seems that the Good Lord is mixing things up, and showing us that although we don’t really care for, or even detest the things that are happening to us along the way — something even better is going to come when he is done “baking” our biscuits to feed us for our future.

Courage my friends — Courage.